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So, for the past couple years I have been struggling with some serious depression. It has taken it's toll on absolutely every aspect of my life; friendships, self esteem, and motivation are the biggest victims. I have lost my ability to draw. Every time I put pencil to paper nothing comes out, or if it does, I am completely unsatisfied with it.

I used to love drawing because it gave me an outlet. I could draw whatever I wanted, whomever I wanted, and it was fun! But somewhere along the way my depression started talking and all it told me was "you're no good!" or "give up, everyone else is better!". I lost the ability to have fun with what I was doing and it became a painful thing, a reminder of how inadequate I was at everything else.

Oddly though in the downtime from drawing I was able to channel that energy elsewhere. I fought very hard and became much better at sewing than I ever was before. I am a fucking whiz in the kitchen and can cook anything. I want that kind of passion and fight back in the hobby I've held the closest to my heart. 

I've resolved to change all that and go back to the beginning. I'm starting over. From now on it doesn't have to be good, it just has to be fun! So here's to a hopefully new beginning. 
  • Listening to: My loud ass computer
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:icondreamwatcher7:
dreamwatcher7 Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Sorry I missed seeing your journal post earlier, but I just wanted to let you know you're not alone. Depression is a huge hole of emptiness and it can suck all your creative energy leaving you unmotivated, discouraged and uninspired. There are times you feel like you could sink into the very depth of depression but you have to remind yourself that there is a glimmer of hope if you search and look really hard for it. Sometimes that glimmer of hope is art, but sometimes it's not. Which can be really frustrating because for people like us it's usually making art! (ಠ_ಠ) . But you continue searching for that glimmer by maybe reading books, watching old favorite tv shows, playing games. Sometimes it's not that either or not enough. Sometimes it's time away from people, or the internet, sometimes it's someone saying something nice about something you made or did. Whatever it is when you finally find that glimmer, it will give you the motivation to art the rest of the way out that hole.
If you ever feel down again please don't forget that there are people who are warmed by the beautiful, original art and photography you do.
And if depression tries to whisper some more nonsense to you. You can tell it to GTFO! (╯°□°)╯︵ uoᴉssǝɹdǝp
Anyways, I look forward to seeing whatever new art you make skelly-jelly.
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:icondragonstar78:
Dragonstar78 Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2015
*raises his glass of OJ in a toast*
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:iconskelly-jelly:
skelly-jelly Featured By Owner Edited Nov 22, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
:hug:
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:icondragonstar78:
Dragonstar78 Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2015
:glomp: :hug:
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November 4, 2015
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